Listening Sessions and Donor Advisory Councils
Scaling Major Gifts. Strategies, action steps, and ideas for scaling major gifts by Tammy Zonker, Major Gift Expert & Keynote Speaker.
How Do You Use Listening Sessions and Donor Advisory Councils to Deepen Major Gifts?
Listening sessions and donor advisory councils are structured spaces where you invite major donors to share what they see, question, and hope for, instead of only telling them what you've done. When you design these spaces with real intention and then close the loop by showing what changed, donors feel like partners in the mission rather than an audience for it, and that trust often grows into larger, longer commitments. If you lead major gifts and you've been doing most of the talking, this is for you.
This is for major gift officers, development directors, and executive directors who want to move from reporting at donors to genuinely listening with them. After reading this, you'll be able to design a simple listening touchpoint, decide whether a session or a council fits your situation, and capture donor input in a way that actually shapes decisions.
Let’s get into it
A donor once told one of my clients, near the end of a long relationship, "You know, in fifteen years, nobody ever asked me what I thought. They just told me what they'd done." He'd given faithfully the whole time. He'd also never felt like more than a checkbook, and he said it without bitterness, almost as an afterthought. That sentence stuck with me.
I've been thinking about it a lot in 2026, because donors are asking for something different now. They want transparency, they want a voice, and they want to know their perspective matters beyond the gift receipt. Most organizations respond to that desire with more reports. Prettier dashboards, longer impact updates, glossier annual summaries. All of it well-intentioned, and almost all of it one-directional.
Here's what I want you to hold onto this week. The donors closest to your mission don't only want to hear from you. They want to be heard by you. And structured listening is how you make that happen on purpose, not by accident.
Why structured listening deepens trust and leads to larger gifts
When you ask a major donor a real question and then listen without rushing to defend or explain, something shifts. The relationship stops being transactional. In my experience, people invest more deeply in things they feel ownership over, and nothing creates ownership faster than being asked to help think.
I've found that the donors who feel genuinely consulted are the ones who stay through leadership changes, who make multi-year commitments, and who introduce you to their friends. They're not buying a program. They're helping build one, and that's a very different kind of loyalty.
How to design a donor listening session
A listening session is a small-group conversation, usually five to eight donors, built around a few open questions rather than a presentation.
Here's a simple way to design one:
Keep the group small and thoughtfully chosen. Five to eight donors who care about the same part of your work. Big enough for energy, small enough that every voice fits.
Ask open questions, not leading ones. "What do you see in our community that we might be missing?" beats "Don't you love our new program?" every time.
Let a neutral facilitator run it. Ideally someone who isn't the person who will later make the ask, so donors feel free to be honest.
Talk less than you think you should. Your job is to draw people out and take notes, not to fill silences.
What a donor advisory council is and how to structure one
A donor advisory council is a standing group of committed donors who meet on a regular cadence to offer perspective on a specific area of your work. The key word is advisory. This is not a board, it doesn't govern, and it works best when the purpose is crystal clear from day one.
Keep the council small, six to ten people, with a defined scope like a program you're growing or a campaign you're shaping. Meet two to four times a year. Be honest up front about what you're asking for, which is counsel and insight, not oversight. Councils built for action deepen loyalty. Councils built for show erode it, because donors can tell the difference between being consulted and being managed.
How to capture and act on donor input
Listening only builds trust if the input goes somewhere. After each session, capture the themes while they're fresh, then look for patterns across conversations. This is one place AI genuinely helps. Feed your rough notes into an AI assistant and ask it to surface recurring themes and questions across sessions, so you spend your time deciding what to act on rather than transcribing. The discernment stays yours. The busywork doesn't have to.
Then pick one or two things you can realistically act on, and do them.
Try this next week
Draft one listening touchpoint. Choose a small group, a council, or a one-on-one series, and write down three open questions you'd ask.
Make a list of six donors who care deeply about one part of your mission. That's your invitation list.
Write your closing-the-loop plan first. Before you invite anyone, decide how you'll show them what changed because they spoke up.
Want to take a deeper dive?
This week's episode of The Intentional Fundraiser Podcast, Donor Listening That Leads to Action, walks through how structured listening becomes a real fundraising strategy, and how to turn what you hear into decisions donors can actually see.
I'd love to hear from you
How do you currently gather input from your major donors, if at all? Connect with me on LinkedIn and tell me. I read every note, and your stories shape what I cover next.
The most powerful ask in fundraising might not be for money at all. It might be, "What do you see that we're not seeing?" Try asking it once this week, and notice what opens up between you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. Who is this approach best suited for?
This is designed for major gift officers, development directors, and executive directors who want to grow major gifts by deepening trust, not just increasing touchpoints. It works especially well if you already have a base of committed donors who care about your mission and would welcome being asked.
Q2. How much time should I expect this to take each week?
Most fundraisers can start with about 2 to 3 hours to plan and host one listening touchpoint, plus a little follow-up time to capture and act on what you hear. The more important piece is consistency, protecting the follow-through so donors see that their input mattered.
Q3. What if my organization is small and I wear multiple hats?
The principles still apply, you just scale the tactics. Skip the formal council and start with a one-on-one listening series, maybe five key donors over a few months, and grow from there as you see the relationships deepen.
Q4. How do I know if it's working?
Look for early signals like donors replying more openly, offering unsolicited ideas, or introducing you to people in their network. Over time, that shows up as larger average gifts, stronger retention, and more multi-year commitments.
Q5. Where does AI fit into this, if at all?
AI is there to reduce friction, not replace your relationships. Use it to analyze session notes for recurring themes, draft follow-up summaries, or turn bullet points into a thank-you message, while the listening, discernment, and relationship-building stay firmly in your hands.