126. Turning Leaders into Effective Major Gift Partners
About this episode
If you feel like donor meetings are getting more high-stakes in 2026, you’re not imagining it. Donors expect clarity and transparency, while you’re juggling volatility, AI noise, tax and policy changes, and leaders who are already stretched to their limit.
In my experience, that pressure shows up most intensely when a CEO or board member joins a major donor visit at the last minute with little or no briefing. You’ve done the relational groundwork. Then someone “swoops in” and the conversation drifts, the message gets fuzzy, and you walk out wondering what just happened.
I’ve sat in those meetings. Early in my career, I remember leaving one visit thinking, “We smiled the whole time, but somehow the gift got smaller, not bigger.” Maybe you can relate.
Here’s the shift I want to invite you into: instead of treating leaders as last‑minute heroes, start treating them as intentional partners in your major gift work.
One core shift: from “hero” to “partner”
When leaders show up well, donors feel three things: confidence, stability, and alignment. When leaders show up poorly, donors feel risk, confusion, and mixed signals. You can influence which experience they have.
Here’s the core framework I use with clients:
Plan leadership involvement early, not reactively.
Don’t wait until you’re “close to the ask” to bring in your CEO or board chair. Build them into the cultivation strategy from the start, even if their role is just a 10‑minute cameo in one visit.
Use a simple one‑page pre‑brief for every visit.
I’ve found that a clear, one‑page summary changes everything: it reduces anxiety for leaders and keeps the visit focused and donor‑centered. It also signals professionalism in a world where donors are used to highly prepared interactions.
Clarify roles before you clarify numbers.
One approach I’ve seen work well is to assign who opens, who shares the vision or impact story, and who actually leads the invitation. When this is clear, there’s less stepping on each other’s lines and more authentic dialogue.
Name the emotional outcomes, not just the financial ones.
Before the visit, decide what you want the donor to think, feel, and do next. Do you want them to feel trusted, see themselves as a partner, or agree to a next-step conversation? When you decide that upfront, your leader’s comments start to support that arc instead of wandering.
Treat the meeting as a team sport.
You’re not the scriptwriter and your CEO is not the star. You are partners playing different positions on the same field. When leaders experience that kind of partnership, they are far more open to coaching.
How I structure the one‑page pre‑brief
Here’s the exact structure I use and teach. You can adapt this in 30 minutes.
Meeting roles
Who opens and sets context.
Who tells the mission or impact story (keep it under 2 minutes).
Who makes or supports the invitation.
Donor focus
What we know about their motivations, values, and interests.
Recent giving and engagement highlights (events, volunteering, board service).
Three key talking points
One vision point: where we are headed.
One impact point: what changes because of this giving.
One credibility point: why we can be trusted to deliver.
Desired outcomes
What we want the donor to think.
What we want them to feel.
What we want them to do next (not necessarily the final gift yet).
I send this at least 24 hours before the visit and then review it in 5 minutes just before we go in. In my experience, that tiny investment prevents most misfires and helps leaders feel supported rather than managed.
Where AI can quietly help you
We are in a season where AI can either overwhelm you or quietly serve you. I recommend the second option.
Here are a few practical AI uses I’ve seen work well around leader involvement:
Drafting the first version of your pre‑brief.
Paste in your call notes and donor history and prompt a tool like Perplexity or ChatGPT to generate a one‑page pre‑brief with roles, donor motivations, and three key talking points. You still edit for nuance, but you’re not starting from a blank page.
Summarizing meetings for debrief and CRM.
After a donor meeting, drop your raw notes or a transcript into AI and ask it to “summarize key donor signals, lessons learned, and next steps in bullet points.” It saves time and keeps follow‑up from slipping through the cracks.
Testing your talking points.
I’ve found that asking AI, “Does this sound donor‑centered and clear to a non‑insider?” can be a helpful way to simplify your language so your CEO does not accidentally fall into jargon in front of a donor.
The key is to let AI handle structure and summarization so you can stay present in the human work of relationship and discernment.
30–60 minute actions you can take this week
If you have an hour this week, here are specific steps you can take:
Identify one upcoming donor visit where a leader will be present.
Choose something low‑stakes but meaningful: a cultivation or pre‑ask visit with a warm donor couple.
Build a one‑page pre‑brief.
Use the four sections above. If it helps, take 15 minutes and use AI to generate a draft from your notes, then refine it to sound like you and reflect your donor.
Schedule a 15‑minute pre‑brief huddle.
Walk your CEO or board member through the page. Ask, “What feels most natural for you to say here?” and adjust accordingly. This builds trust and collaboration rather than one‑way direction.
Plan a 10‑minute debrief immediately after the visit.
Right after the meeting, ask:
What landed well with the donor?
What would we adjust next time?
What did the donor reveal that we should act on?
Capture it in your CRM. If you have a transcript or detailed notes, use AI to help summarize.
These are small moves, but in my experience, they compound quickly. Leaders start walking into meetings more prepared. Donors feel more clarity and stability. And your major gift work becomes more sustainable in a very turbulent time.
I’d love to hear from you
When you have a quiet moment this week, I’d love for you to listen and share it with one leader or board member who joins you in donor meetings.
If you do try a pre‑brief with a leader, I’d love to hear how it goes. Connect with me on LinkedIn and send a quick note: What changed in the room when your leader showed up prepared?
You carry a lot on your shoulders. You are managing relationships, expectations, and a changing landscape all at once. In my experience, when you help your leaders show up well with donors, you not only raise more money, you make the work feel more human and more hopeful for everyone involved.
You’re doing such important work. Keep going, one intentional conversation at a time.
“Here’s the shift I want to invite you into: Instead of treating leaders as last‑minute heroes, start treating them as intentional partners in your major gift work.”
Tammy Zonker, Major Gift Expert, Keynote Speaker, Author
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