140. Peer Power: Ambassadors and Giving Circles
About this episode
Recently, a major gift officer shared with me that the largest gift he helped secure last year didn't come from a meeting he had. It came from a meeting he wasn't even in the room for.
A donor he'd been cultivating for two years invited three of her friends to her kitchen. She told them why she gave. She didn't pitch. She didn't ask. Six weeks later, one of those friends made a $100,000 gift.
That's the new shape of major gifts in 2026.
For most of my career, we treated major donor work as a staff-to-donor exchange. The fundraiser builds the relationship. The fundraiser makes the ask. The fundraiser stewards the gift. That model still works. But there's a second layer of work running alongside it that's becoming impossible to ignore. Peer influence.
In a year when trust in institutions is wobbly and donors are asking sharper questions about values, peer voices carry weight that staff voices simply can't replicate. The peer has no organizational interest in the outcome. They're sharing for one reason. They believe in what you do.
Add to this the rise of collective giving. Giving circles have grown from a niche format into one of the fastest-growing segments of philanthropy, with nearly than 4,000 active circles in the United States. And younger major donors, the Gen X and millennial wealth holders writing the bigger checks now, expect community to be part of the giving experience. They don't want to give in a vacuum. They want to give in a room with people they trust.
Here's the framework I use to think about peer involvement, and a few ways to put it to work this week.
The four peer roles that work in real programs
→ Host. Opens their home, club, or conference room for a small gathering. Their job is to invite the right people and to model warmth. Best for social donors with a network you haven't yet reached.
→ Advocate. Picks up the phone, writes personal notes, drops your name in conversations. Best for introverts and quiet champions who already promote you without being asked.
→ Champion. Speaks at events, signs open letters, lends their name to a campaign chair role. Best for donors who already see themselves as part of your public story.
→ Circle Convener. Gathers a group of peers to pool gifts and decide where they go collectively. Best for donors with a love of collective decision-making and a strong network.
Design principles for peer-led experiences
Keep gatherings small. Eight people at a peer-hosted dinner will produce more relational depth than thirty at a cocktail party. Don't ask at the table. Trust the design. Send a thank-you note to your peer host within twenty-four hours. The peer took a risk for you. Acknowledge it specifically.
The design principle that pulls all of this together is simple. The peer leads. The staff supports. The room decides.
Guardrails matter as much as the model
Peer influence can tip into peer pressure quickly if you're not careful. Coach your peer leaders to share their story and step back. Watch for the bubble problem of using only peer leaders from one background, which keeps your donor base the same shape forever. Be clear about the time commitment so peer roles don't quietly turn into part-time jobs.
Trust, once broken in a peer relationship, is very hard to rebuild. Trust, once earned, is the most powerful currency in this work.
Try this next week
Pull your top fifty major donor prospects and current donors. Highlight three to five who already advocate for you without being asked. Reach out to one this week and have a no-pressure conversation about what kind of peer role might fit. Don't assign a role. Ask the donor what feels right.
If you want a head start, ask your AI assistant to draft three short peer role descriptions, one for a host, one for an advocate, and one for a circle convener. Adapt the language to match your donor's voice, not your brand voice.
I'd love to hear from you
Connect with me on LinkedIn and tell me which peer leader you're going to approach this week. I read every message, and the stories you send shape what I share with this community.
The most powerful voice in your donor's life is rarely yours, and that's a gift, not a threat. When you make room for peers to lead, you get to do what you do best, which is build the conditions for generosity to happen.
Keep going. I'm cheering for you.
“Trust, once broken in a peer relationship, is very hard to rebuild. Trust, once earned, is the most powerful currency in this work.”
Tammy Zonker, Major Gift Expert, Keynote Speaker, Author
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